009: The tragicomedy of the members-only club
Would you be a member of a club that would have you?
Having first met at a public library in Sydney, we (Divya and Diana, hello!) are now the members of a private library. Fancy! But not really. The London Library is a book-lover’s paradise, but it’s also old and fusty and no-one is angling to be seen there (promise). It did get us thinking about the idea of clubs more generally, though: specifically, the social ‘members-only’ club, where people pay thousands of pounds in order to gain membership and admittance to… a glorified bar?
As Australians, it’s easy to baulk at the concept of clubs. But in London, they’re hard to ignore. According to this GQ writer, they’re back in a big way in New York, too and Soho House is even opening in Sydney soon. So why is the social ‘members-only’ club having a moment right now, especially in a younger age bracket?
Soho House is probably the most well-known touch-point of the modern members club genre. It started as a space for cool creatives in the 90s, and it’s notable for being a) where Harry and Meghan had their first date and b) where Jude Law’s toddler ate a cap off the floor at a lunch in the early 2000s. These days, Soho House is… well, basically, where the Venn diagram crosses over for 35 yo bankers and 22 yo influencers. You can imagine the gender breakdown yourself. It’s all faintly absurd — the pomp, the exclusivity, the cost ($$$!!) and the fact that you can only bring up the fact that you’re a member if it comes with a healthy dose of self-deprecation.
Last week, we talked about relatability and how our generation looks to culture for a sense of belonging: the books we read, the music we love, and even a kind of refusenik belonging in hating the music other people love. It’s all human. We live in a fragmented world where community isn’t so easy to come by. This conversation speaks to so many of the same things. Is the member’s club just another way to find a place in this strange and changing world?
What’s been on our minds this past fortnight…
Divya: Okay, so we’ve both spoken about how surprised we have been about how popular member’s clubs are as a way to socialise — casually and professionally — in London. It was such a funny concept to me at first! Like, it seemed very dated. What did you think when you first went inside one?
Diana: I actually had the harrowing experience of meeting someone at a Soho House without realising it was a Soho House. The invitation was for coffee at “Little House Mayfair ” so I assumed “Little House” was the name of a cafe. I marched in (thinking, wow that entrance was hard to find) and took a seat (thinking, wow this cafe is really nice) and got hauled back to reception to explain myself. But yeah, it was nice! Nicer than a cafe, lol.
Divya: They are nice. I went to one where they cover your phone camera with stickers to stop you taking pictures. I spent the whole time trying to see if someone pap-worthy was around the corner. No dice.
It’s a funny tension, though, between wanting something to be exclusive but also not so exclusive that people don’t know about it — and therefore want to be a part of it. Historically, I guess being part of a member’s club was about codifying the status of wealthy men from good families, who could smoke cigars on Chesterfields and haw haw over Scotch. But where does it fit in right now? Like, it was very clear what kind of crowd you were going to mix with, back in the day. Now, what are you united by? Other than, I guess, wanting a sense of social superiority?
Diana: Exactly. I think the exclusivity thing sits uneasily in the modern world. Like, in capitalism every enterprise has to grow and get bigger. But how does that work when you’re trying to keep something exclusive? I guess that’s what’s happened with Soho House (which went public and is now super crowded all the time). I think it happens to a lot of members clubs, actually. Like when the Australian club was talking about opening up their membership to women — the conversation was couched in terms of equality but I suspect that allowing women in is also a good way to boost dwindling memberships.
Divya: It just happened with the Garrick Club, too! The one that King Charles and Benedict Cumberbatch are members of. They voted a couple of weeks ago to let women in — but that was mostly because the Guardian leaked a list of its members to the public and all these politicians resigned because, well, optics. I think cynicism about ‘opening up’ these clubs is warranted.
Diana: Lol, like, had they not noticed there were no women in the club before?
Divya: I also love this quote from a Garrick Club ex-member: “He added he did not ‘think the Garrick is a secret cabal of men that is quietly running a country’ but ‘it's just a convivial place where people go and have lunch and dinner.’ Verrrrry convincing.
Diana: I want a convivial lunch! That sounds nice.
Divya: Imagine you’re convivially lunching and the King of England is just there. These places feel like such anachronisms now, right? Like, all-male clubs used to be for the landed gentry who lived in the country in their huge mansions and needed somewhere to stay when they ‘came down to London’ on business.
Diana: And I guess travel-as-leisure hadn’t been invented yet… so hotels weren’t an option. And I imagine their wives felt better about them staying somewhere male-only. Safe from temptation.
Divya:. Like, for those men, a member’s club was practical as well as, obviously, status-coded: they needed a place to post their letters and receive telegrams and be reliably reached when away from home. I mean, is anyone leaving messages for Hedge Fund Dave at the front desk of Soho House?? It feels extra nonsensical when you consider that historical context.
Diana: I think it comes back to us living in a more socially mobile society: your ‘status’ has to be asserted in different ways now. It doesn’t just come from your last name anymore. You need to be a part of something visibly cool and exclusive — because otherwise how would anyone know you’re cool and exclusive?
Divya: Yes. I think the conversation is: how do we communicate elitism in the modern world? Usually, as a society, I think we like to pretend that we don’t think we’re better than anyone else. Like, obviously, there is stratification everywhere but we like to pretend we’re all the same. Even if you’re sort of projecting superiority/coolness/wealth through social media or whatever. But I think membership to a member’s club is probably one of the most blatant admissions of the fact that you genuinely think that you’re better than other people. And you will pay for the privilege of codifying that.
Diana: Yeah and it’s funny because that kind of overt class performance (while on-the-nose) is almost an inversion of old-fashioned gentlemens’ club style elitism. Like — this is random but stay with me — I heard Ben MacIntyre (an espionage author) speak at a writers festival once and he said that the reason British culture is so obsessed with spying, like James Bond and stuff, is because of the elitism. They love the idea that there’s another, better, more exclusive club just beyond your reach. And secrecy feeds elitism: MI6 is the most exclusive club of all, because no-one is allowed to know what’s going on.
Divya: This is why I’m suspicious about the Soho House coming to Sydney. That elitism — that paranoia, almost, about everyone secretly being in a better club than you — feels quite foreign, as an Australian. Do you think it’ll take off?
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Diana: It’s hard to imagine, isn’t it? Australians are loath to appear ‘above it’ or act like we think we’re better than anyone. Which is toxic in a different way, obviously, because it makes it hard to talk about class. But I don’t know… if they can build a rooftop pool somewhere in Sydney, I can imagine seeing a lot of photos of it on Instagram.
Divya: Oh but that’s the thing — you’re not supposed to take photos at Soho House. I think people do, but you’re technically not supposed to. I feel like privacy is an important part of this conversation, actually. Many of these clubs have unmarked doors, no photos rules, a sense of mystery. Is that about heightening the drama…. or is privacy and remove from social media/being online maybe the most exclusive thing right now? I think we’re really nostalgic for it again. Maybe that’s the real appeal.
Diana: True. I think people are just craving a genuine experience. And, to be honest, I sympathise with that urge, almost, to gatekeep. Like, I want to go to a bar that’s full of people who genuinely like it and have taken some effort to find it, not just hordes of randoms who saw it on TikTok and want to get their own snap there to prove they were part of something.
Divya: Yes. A popular if maligned sentiment. But… is there a way to do that, which isn’t exclusionary?
Diana: Maybe if the focus is on what’s inside, rather than on the optics from the outside? Like, if you’re a freelancer who needs somewhere professional and private to meet clients; or you’re new in a city and want to go to events with other people your age, then how is your Soho House membership any different than me paying a fee to have a nice desk and free printing in a quiet, private library?
Divya: This is a good point. But I think the problem is that with most of these social member’s clubs — because of the idea of it not being based around a specific thing, just that not everyone can come — doesn’t really feel based on taste or, to your point, what’s inside. It feels based on who can afford to fork out the money, on who will feel comfortable in spaces that are, for now at least, mostly white and wealthy. Like, is there a way to create spaces that are more radical and actually based on community, not exclusionary barriers (financial/social)? Idealistic, I know.
Diana: No, you’re right. And I don’t think it’s too idealistic. Those spaces can crop up organically in big cities. Like in neighbourhood parks.
Divya: Long live the park! The original (alfresco) member’s club.
What we’ve loved this past fortnight…
Divya
Object: I have been captivated by the Artists for Ceasefire pin that Nicola Coughlan has been wearing relentlessly while promoting the new season of Bridgerton. Every interview, every premiere. It shouldn’t be controversial, but it’s so cool to see her use this moment, when she knows that she’s got the world’s attention, for something worthwhile. I can imagine it wasn’t easy to convince her team to let her do it. I will move on from her next edition, I promise!!
Experience: I went to the Gucci Cruise show in London last week, and it was such a peculiar experience. These kinds of events are so removed from normal life: you get a little glimpse into the excesses of the fashion world (Gucci grew an entire tropical garden inside the Tate Modern for the show), of fame and the insanity that comes with it and then… you get the bus home! Some key takeaways: Demi Moore sat front row, stroking her tiny dog on her lap the whole show. Dua Lipa brought her whole family (cute). Paul Mescal did not dance at the afterparty. I had so many questions including but not limited to: is being a nepo-sibling better than being a nepo-baby? Do celebs’ security people have to dance, if their charges decide they want to dance? Did Demi Moore’s dog need an invitation?
Taste: There’s a special place in my heart for a Greek salad whose ratio is 1:1 feta to everything else. Look at this bad boy!
Diana
Object: I have officially become one of those North-East London freelancer types they make memes about. I recently bit the bullet and bought my first pair of Salomons. Who knows? Maybe I’ll wear them to a Soho House one day.
Experience: I watched Ratatouille for the first time, basically because I was so charmed/amused by Josh O’Connor’s obsession with it. Somehow I’d never seen it before and I honestly wept.
Taste: In a city as expensive as London, a delicious restaurant meal usually has an aftertaste of guilt/despair/panic when the time comes to tap your card. At Dishoom, however, the bill is basically a sweet treat. I’ve tried 5 of their venues now (embarrassingly, lol) and they’re consistently incredible value. Also I have their cookbook (yes, I’m obsessed) and let me tell you, you don’t want to have to make that black daal at home.
Bye for now!
Divya and Diana xx
Can’t believe you hadn’t see Ratatouille
I literally read this post at Dishoom lol